Cupcakes & Unicorns
In my addiction I isolated myself so much that I didn’t really have any enablers. In that, I am very fortunate. Enablers are as toxic as the disease itself.

With the very best intentions enablers often make matters worse. This is true with addiction as well as mental illness. There are many different ways to enable someone but in my (non-professional) opinion, over sympathizing is the most dangerous. 

Sympathizing, coddling, fussing over and indulging in the afflicted person’s self pity is of absolutely no benefit and in no way aids their recovery. I am not suggesting that friends and loved ones treat the person harshly. I am suggesting that if you want to help someone who suffers from an addiction or mental illness you need to educate yourself. There are tons of resources available to help you help them. 

Once you understand what you are dealing with you can begin to help them. That will usually begin with no longer giving into their ploys for attention and sympathy but instead hold them accountable for their life, behavior and their recovery. You will be able to offer them suggestions, treatment options and other things that will help them in a positive way. 

Finally, if you don’t want to be enabler you need to know when enough is enough. Unfortunately, recovery isn’t possible unless the one suffering is ready to recover. Nothing you can do or say will change that. They have to get tired of their own bullshit before they even have a shot at recovery. So just remember that you can’t help those who won’t help themselves and always remember to take care of yourself first.

In my addiction I isolated myself so much that I didn’t really have any enablers. In that, I am very fortunate. Enablers are as toxic as the disease itself.

With the very best intentions enablers often make matters worse. This is true with addiction as well as mental illness. There are many different ways to enable someone but in my (non-professional) opinion, over sympathizing is the most dangerous.

Sympathizing, coddling, fussing over and indulging in the afflicted person’s self pity is of absolutely no benefit and in no way aids their recovery. I am not suggesting that friends and loved ones treat the person harshly. I am suggesting that if you want to help someone who suffers from an addiction or mental illness you need to educate yourself. There are tons of resources available to help you help them.

Once you understand what you are dealing with you can begin to help them. That will usually begin with no longer giving into their ploys for attention and sympathy but instead hold them accountable for their life, behavior and their recovery. You will be able to offer them suggestions, treatment options and other things that will help them in a positive way.

Finally, if you don’t want to be enabler you need to know when enough is enough. Unfortunately, recovery isn’t possible unless the one suffering is ready to recover. Nothing you can do or say will change that. They have to get tired of their own bullshit before they even have a shot at recovery. So just remember that you can’t help those who won’t help themselves and always remember to take care of yourself first.

My sweet boyfriend gave me a beautiful hummingbird feeder and today one finally came to visit. I was so excited to see her buzzing around. I was sad when she left but I’m sure she has lots of places to go and great things to do. I hope to see her again soon!


[As you can see, I killed my lavender :( but I’m proud to report that all my other plants are doing great! ]

166 beautiful days without a hangover! How cool is that?! Pretty freaking cool if you ask me!

166 beautiful days without a hangover! How cool is that?! Pretty freaking cool if you ask me!

Thank you lifeaccordingtohan ! I love these things!

1. What have you been up to today?
I went to work and then finished refinishing a piece of furniture.

2. If you could have one super power what would it be and why?
The ability to erase memories! There are things I would love to forget and would like others to as well. I could also rob a bank and make people forget it was me!

3. What’s one thing not many people know about you?
A lot of people don’t know that most of the time I’m in pain due to scoliosis and the rods attached to my spine.

4. What’s your favorite T.V. program?
Walking Dead and Vikings.

5. If you were in charge of your own country what’s one thing you would change?
I would execute pedophiles immediately!

6. Where do you see yourself in ten years time?
Still sober, happy, a great yogi!

7. Who has been the most influential person in your life outside of your family?
This is tough because it changes as my life does. Right now, my yoga instructor and Buddha. My boyfriend and my children are also huge influences on me.

8. What’s you’re favorite accent?
I don’t really know. Yankee, like New York maybe? I’m originally from Michigan so I miss that northern dialect.

9. What’s your favorite color?
PINK, PINK AND MORE PINK!!!

10. What is your spiritual or religious background?
I was raised Lutheran. I still believe in a higher power and consider myself a Christian but I don’t necessarily believe that that has to be the same for everyone. I’m still exploring my spirituality.

11. What is your favorite quote?
I have so many….” Everything is as it should be at this moment”, “I’d rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I’m not”, the Serenity Prayer, even though it’s not really a quote and “Not my circus, not my monkeys”. I like to use that one when people try to involve me in drama.

I changed #10 because I really don’t discuss my children on here too much and would rather not post their names.

I’d like to hear back from everyone on this but off the top of my head I tag the following: triangl3soul alcoholicartichoke cherriedskulls jordycrayy recovery-one-day-at-a-time claritycoffee sinmademe-strong moonlightdrivers maddysplace chasing-my-dreams-not-my-drinks maximumliteralpunk deanmartian52 velvethatlady

XOXO

I bought a $20 accent table from the antique shop. Ugly. Black. Scratched up. Decided to paint it burgundy. Burgundy turned out fuchsia. Hated it. Stripped it. Sanded it. Repainted it. Added a new knob. $20 table now an $82.84 table. Thank goodness I like the results!

When I was 16 years old I met a guy, we thought we were in love. My parents hated him and made it difficult for me to see him. We decided to have a baby so that they would have to let us get married. So that’s what we did, but things went very, very wrong. 

We had a beautiful baby boy but the marriage was that of a Lifetime movie. I endured three years of abuse, marital rape and emotional torment. Eventually after several failed attempts, I finally escaped with my son.

Unfortunately the pain didn’t stop there. For the next 15 years I was harassed, stalked and bullied by my ex-husband’s mother. At one point my son was kidnapped from me and I didn’t know where he was for three months. Thankfully, he was returned to me unharmed. I could fill pages with stories of this woman’s insanity that would make you cringe but I will simply say that I lived in fear for a very long time. 

My son is now grown. He is safe and is a wonderful, handsome, responsible, amazing man. I suppose I have emotional scars from what happened in the past but I’ve always refused to see myself as a victim. I suppressed the memories and feelings and never really spoke to anyone in depth about the things that I endured. I suppose if I had, I wouldn’t have felt the need to drink myself numb. Who knows, but that’s what I did.

My ex-husband’s mother lives in this town but I haven’t seen her face in many years…until today. I was shopping at Home Depot and unbeknownst to me, she works there. She spotted me and approached me with her sickening, psychopathic smile and with her cheerfully evil voice she asked me how I was. I froze, all I could do was nod my head and walk away. Surprisingly, I didn’t feel angry, sad, vengeful, afraid or even homicidal. I felt exactly the same as I did before I saw her, happy. This can only mean one thing, I’m over it. She no longer has power over me.

After giving it some thought and prayer, I realize that I really am over it. I have forgiven her and I have accepted the past with gratitude. I am grateful for the trials I have been through. For those are the things that have made me the strong, beautiful, amazing person that I am today. I am only able to do this because I am sober.

When I was 16 years old I met a guy, we thought we were in love. My parents hated him and made it difficult for me to see him. We decided to have a baby so that they would have to let us get married. So that’s what we did, but things went very, very wrong.

We had a beautiful baby boy but the marriage was that of a Lifetime movie. I endured three years of abuse, marital rape and emotional torment. Eventually after several failed attempts, I finally escaped with my son.

Unfortunately the pain didn’t stop there. For the next 15 years I was harassed, stalked and bullied by my ex-husband’s mother. At one point my son was kidnapped from me and I didn’t know where he was for three months. Thankfully, he was returned to me unharmed. I could fill pages with stories of this woman’s insanity that would make you cringe but I will simply say that I lived in fear for a very long time.

My son is now grown. He is safe and is a wonderful, handsome, responsible, amazing man. I suppose I have emotional scars from what happened in the past but I’ve always refused to see myself as a victim. I suppressed the memories and feelings and never really spoke to anyone in depth about the things that I endured. I suppose if I had, I wouldn’t have felt the need to drink myself numb. Who knows, but that’s what I did.

My ex-husband’s mother lives in this town but I haven’t seen her face in many years…until today. I was shopping at Home Depot and unbeknownst to me, she works there. She spotted me and approached me with her sickening, psychopathic smile and with her cheerfully evil voice she asked me how I was. I froze, all I could do was nod my head and walk away. Surprisingly, I didn’t feel angry, sad, vengeful, afraid or even homicidal. I felt exactly the same as I did before I saw her, happy. This can only mean one thing, I’m over it. She no longer has power over me.

After giving it some thought and prayer, I realize that I really am over it. I have forgiven her and I have accepted the past with gratitude. I am grateful for the trials I have been through. For those are the things that have made me the strong, beautiful, amazing person that I am today. I am only able to do this because I am sober.

A reminder that all things require easing into and time. If you believe and persist it will come to be. Sobriety is like yoga, the more you work on yourself, the more you grow and improve.

A reminder that all things require easing into and time. If you believe and persist it will come to be. Sobriety is like yoga, the more you work on yourself, the more you grow and improve.

I used to drink whiskey because I thought it kept me sane. Instead it made me crazy. Now I use yoga, meditation, prayer and healthy projects to keep my sanity.

There’s still some crazy left in me, good and bad. I can handle the bad crazy now, I simply work through it. The good crazy, well I just sit back and enjoy it.

I used to drink whiskey because I thought it kept me sane. Instead it made me crazy. Now I use yoga, meditation, prayer and healthy projects to keep my sanity.

There’s still some crazy left in me, good and bad. I can handle the bad crazy now, I simply work through it. The good crazy, well I just sit back and enjoy it.

I’m in the middle of another project! I’m hot, tired and frustrated so I’m taking a break to breathe, regain my focus and work on my patience. 

I can hardly believe I even wrote that! There may be hope for me yet!

I’m in the middle of another project! I’m hot, tired and frustrated so I’m taking a break to breathe, regain my focus and work on my patience.

I can hardly believe I even wrote that! There may be hope for me yet!

Progress Not Perfection!

Progress Not Perfection!